My definitely not-so-humble abode is adorned with strings of colourful lights and baubles flickering festively in the reflection of the moonlit waters of the mighty Vaal Dam. My staff sport red hats and brilliant smiles all around as they excitedly prepare for a Christmas celebration the likes that have never been seen this side of the Equator.
There is an understated excitement that permeates the very air like a fragrant perfume and seeps through every whispered conversation and secret smile as the heap of gaily wrapped presents grow to an alarming stack beneath the grandfather of all Christmas trees in the lobby.
I perch on my balcony, sipping on 100 year old refined whiskey and listening to Boney M as I ponder which delights await me on Christmas Eve when I get to open the presents which have been sent to me from all over my kingdom by my loyal subjects. Ho ho ho!