Yachting jokes

Posted on Fri March 15, 2013.

Yachting jokes
The Vaalnest Boutique Hotel at Vaal Marina, a popular spot for yachting enthusiasts, daily enjoys the scenery of yachts on the Vaal Dam. Every room of the hotel has a view of the dam. The hotel offers luxurious accommodation for the yachting fanatic. Come and relax after a fun day in the sun. And share a yachting joke or two:
*A woman was having a medical problem – her husband was snoring very loudly and every night! So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering.”
“Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband” said the doctor, “but it is really rather expensive. It will cost you $10,000 down, and payments of $1000 for 36 months, plus payments for extras of course.
“My goodness!” the woman exclaimed, “that sounds like I’m buying a yacht!”
“Humm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?”

*This is the actual transcript of a radio conversation between a British Navy ship and the Irish Coastguard, off the coast of Kerry, 1O.Oct 95
Irish.:Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south, to avoid collision
US Navy: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north, to avoid collision
Irish: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south ‘ to avoid collision.
US Navy: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Irish: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course
US Navy: THIS IS THE LARGEST SHIP IN THE AMERICAN FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS, 3 CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT SHIPS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES TO THE NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS FLOTILLA.
Irish: THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE ……. YOUR CALL!